Love And Dating

IS HE FOR REAL?

(No men were harmed in the writing of this blog)

If you were like me you've probably been on at least one date with half of the city. (Sigh) Ever feel like your life plays out in an episode of Sex & The City? Hi, I'm Carrie! Well there's one good thing about this... at least you know now exactly what you find desirable in a man and on the other hand what makes you cringe.

Now, I'm no respecter of indifference so I believe everyone deserves a fair chance. However, lets just face it; the odds of meeting a guy that fits your criteria is rather slim to none. I have realized over the years throughout my "single-dom", that this ideal man is but a very minuscule figment of our imagination in most cases.

These days you should consider yourself lucky if you can find an unemployed man that will at least take the garbage out. Yup, its that bad... There was a time when my single friends along with myself would often congregate to discuss our utter disgust with men today. It seems that for the most part, married men are more on the market than single men are. Over the past two years I have ran into some men and 80% were married with spouse in home, 18% separated (or so they say), and sadly just 2% were actually single; but of course hardly what I'd consider date-able.

THE 80%

OK. For married people they are faced with more marital woes than the relationship issues by singletons; are what I'd imagine are for vast reasons.

These men in my opinion are the sweetest men you can ever meet. Most women will agree when I say that a married man has the ability to sweep you off of your feet faster than a single man will. Why? Is it that a sweetheart is the last dying hope for happiness? Is it that a new woman offers more excitement than the same old routine at home? Or is it that a man looks for a woman opposite from his wife and secretly wishes he hadn't married her and wished he married a woman like you? Possible, all of the above. However, reality is, he will never leave his wife for you because of attachments; not necessarily emotional but financially and in most cases because of children. But you know that! So why do you get upset at him when he doesn't? Yes, I'm talking to you! Its likely that he and his wife have seen more good and bad times that are more valuable to him than a roll in the hay with you. You are just there to spice up his otherwise dull life. There is nothing that keeps old couples together like history. So the next time you consider dating a married man, think about this... You may enjoy the shopping trips, the late night escapades and the extra attention you receive but you will never compare to what he has at home. You are like Morphine to an injury! As soon as the pain wears off you will be discarded.

THE 18%

You know what's funny? This guy still isn't single! Ha ha! Ladies, if you have met a guy that claims that he is legally separated from his wife for more than a year without any sort of move towards divorce; by all means just keep moving! This man has probably no intention to marry again and is seemingly comfortable with his circumstance. Yes you may develop a meaningful relationship but be very weary of his views on marriage. If he makes comments implying that marriage isn't on his agenda or that he is not rushing his divorce procedure then just RUN! You are making a big mistake unless you are with the same motives in mind. LOL, you can't even become a common law wife because he is still married! NEXT!---->

And Finally...

The Dreadful 2%

No, it's not fair to pass judgement on people by first glance. But as humans and specifically women, we are at times overly curious. This is why when someone is single for some period of time, it rises red flags. "Uh Oh! Wonder what's wrong with him." Well there may be a very good reason (as always) why he's single. Maybe he's an old fashioned kind of guy who doesn't rush anything. Or maybe you and he were destined to be and he waited on you to ride off into the sunset....ahhhhh. Big fat Yeah Right! Please sister snap out of it! Odds are he's so screwed up that NO ONE wants him. Don't be the investigator, just run!

But don't despair! Maybe half of that two percent is actually date-able! Keep the faith, he's out there.

In my experience, I know that there is no single one person for another. Why would God do such a horrible thing? There are billions of people on the planet and its impossible to meet even 5% of those people in your lifetime. So, really now.. But, I do believe in finding someone you click with and making it work. The key is seeing what works for you and your tolerance level. It's just that simple!

Good luck and happy hunting!

Sex and Marriage

You've met a hot guy and you can't keep your hands off of each other. You spend countless nights laying in bed thinking of the time you've spent with him and eagerly anticipate the next time you meet. Sounds like you're in love! Fast forward. Now you're married and finding that, that flame you once had is flickering and dying. Don't panic. It's not as bad as you think.

Couples sex therapy has been a saving grace for many newly and veteran married couples. Quite naturally after spending some time with someone you begin to get a little bored with the same routine and sex then is prioritised as an item on the "To-Do List". There are several ways you can invoke that old feeling again for your partner and it starts with intimacy. Reconnecting on a spiritual level with your spouse is the first and most important step towards more satisfying physical intimacy. Start by spending QT or quality time with your partner everyday. This means that no one or nothing should disrupt this time you spend together including kids and phones. Try to spend at the least 10 minutes a day in an embrace talking to each other and not about work or ranting. Spend this time telling your mate how much you love and appreciate him or her and during this time you can suggest new bedroom moves or toys you want to try.

Sex toys have been somewhat of a taboo subject in our mom's and grandma's day but today there are many sources you can reference on the Internet. Such companies like Eden Fantasys make your selection fun and easy and are very discrete when shipping is involved. If ever you feel embarrassed about walking into a store to purchase sex toys, remember that what you are doing is making a conscious effort to save your marriage and have a little fun while doing it!

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